Coming Home

The day I had to uphold my own bodily autonomy, by standing down from my job in 2021, was the moment my soul began beckoning me to listen.  Although I birthed my five babies at home, I had worked as a Midwife in the hospital setting for 25 years. 

It was time to stand in my authentic truth and let go of what was no longer aligned, despite the financial security and comfort it provided.

I fell into the abyss of the scary unknown path ahead.

Although my intuitive soul knew this was the right path, it was not an easy road to travel.  It was a moment where life as I knew it was burning to the ground under my instruction.  Imagine a journey that begins with a sense of disquiet, where the outer layers of who you thought you were start to crumble away.

Despite the destruction of what once was, I followed my life's calling towards supporting women to birth at home.  

Just when I thought I couldn't feel more agonising vulnerability over the unknown path ahead of me, I was shown there was more to let go of.  My 25 years of marriage was in demise and I chose to lovingly release myself from what was no longer serving me, nor able to grow with me as I stood between thresholds.  So I bought this marriage to closure.

 Growth does not happen without release and change.  

 Letting go is more than unsettling.  It is painful.  As you strip back the identities and roles you've worn like armour, each layer removed reveals a raw and vulnerable self.  One that isn't defined by external labels or societal expectations.  No longer the Midwife as I new her. No longer Wife as I new her. No longer the Crossfitter as I new her.  No longer the daughter as I new her. No longer the Mother as I new her. No longer the woman as I new her.

I found myself asking numerous times…Who am I?   

As I continued on this journey of UN-learning and UN-becoming, I began to confront the core of my being. Even my physical body had screamed at me when it sent my lower back into spasm and putting me in paralysis for 2 days.  Stop and feel the pain she said.  This is not meant to be bypassed.  Are you sure you are ready to let go and receive the transformation this re-birth has to offer you? 

The breaking of my physical body brought me to the threshold of transformation that required immense roots of bravery and courage.  As I faced parts of myself that had long been buried, ignored or resisted, this was the crucible of my spiritual awakening, where the old versions of self were burned away and energetic cords from my past were severed.

There came a moment of profound stillness. A quiet space, free from the noise of who I was supposed to be.  Everything looked the same but nothing was the same. I heard the whisper of my soul's true essence. It was a familiar voice.  One that had always been with me, waiting patiently beneath the surface. This voice spoke of love, purpose, and a deep, abiding peace.

As I aligned with my  inner truth, a powerful resonance began to unfold. The vibration of every cell of my being was harmonizing with the universe itself.  This was the essence of “Coming home” —a return to my heart; my most authentic self, where I no longer felt fractured or divided.   Instead, I felt  whole, integrated, and profoundly connected to something greater than myself.  I finally met my love beneath that Hawaiin Watefall and that love was none other then mySELF.

The feeling of “Coming Home” is not just emotional but also deeply energetic. It feels like being enveloped in a warm, radiant light that soothes every part of you. It's a sense of belonging that transcends any physical place. It's the joy of finally being yourself, without pre-tense or fear, and knowing that this self is exactly who you were always meant to be.

In this space, you find peace, love and clarity. This journey brought me full circle, back to the heart of my existence. Through grief, loss and adversity I was re-born.  As in birth, this spiralling journey inwards to truly know and love myself  returned me with more power and wisdom.  

Coming Home.  It is not just in the sense of a destination reached, but a state of being.  This home within, is a sanctuary of truth and love that I will carry with me, no matter where I go.

In my Coming Home,

I found a love

That keeps me grounded

It keeps me going

It keeps me strong

Although my intuitive soul guided me to the depths of my shadows it also showed me the way home.  I would do it all again to be where I am today.

Enjoy the tunes that I danced to on my return - “Coming Home” from this life changing transformation.

OM.Love.X